Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Best Inspiration Ever!

I have been inspired by many things to write these posts, but I think this is the best inspiration yet; the Best. Orgasm. Ever!

It came out of nowhere and rippled through every muscle in my body for what felt like forever; it was amazing. It was so amazing that I had to find out why it happened and what I could do to keep them, well me, coming. My first thought was, "Well, I am about to turn 30. Maybe that thing about women hitting their sexual prime in their thirties is true.". I had so been hoping it was true. Then I thought, "Well, I have been working out a lot lately. I've lost around 17 pounds and several inches, maybe that has something to do with it.". So, I looked into both of these possibilities.

Let's start with the hypothesis that women hit their sexual prime in their thirties. Back in the 1940's there was a doctor by the name of Alfred Kinsey and he did a lot of really great things. He founded the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. He gave us the Kinsey scale that some of you may be familiar with. He wrote a book called “Sexual Behavior in The Human Female”, and another for males. I'll focus on the female book for this post.

He took the sexual histories of over 5,000 women to write this book and he found that women do seem to have better sex once they are in their thirties. The problem is that the book was published in 1953 and the life of the average woman was very different. Sex, especially for unmarried young women, was even more demonized than it is now. The guilt alone would interfere with the level of pleasure for the few women brave enough to break the social taboo. However by the time most of the women in the study were thirty they were married and had children, leaving them little to worry about during sex but their own pleasure; so they reported better sex lives.
Scientifically speaking, women hit their hormonal sexual peak around the same time men do; in their late teens and early twenties. There are some theories that sex could be better women in their forties because their bodies stop producing as much oxytocin—our nurturing hormone, so they just aren't as worried about taking care of their partner and focus instead on their own orgasm. Also, hopefully by then, woman have a much better idea of how their bodies work and are more able to communicate that to their partners. The conclusion is, there is no physiological reason to expect your sex life to magically get better in your thirties. However, as we age we gain wisdom even about our bodies and that could very easily lead to better sex.

On to the second hypothesis. Exercise can make sex better, and could have been responsible for my super-awesome orgasm. As always, I did some digging and wasn't surprised to find out that this was a much more plausible idea. There have been multiple studies done on this topic; so, I'll summarize. 
Regular exercise does a lot, to not only tone muscle, but increase blood circulation which is important for sexy time. The more blood you can get to your sensitive bits the better and higher the chance of orgasm.
Exercise, like sex, releases endorphins in your brain, and helps to relieve stress. For women, their emotional state is closely related to their sexual arousal and enjoyment. Those same endorphins also help release cortisol, giving you an overall sense of well-being; making it easier to get into the right state of mind for that orgasm.
The increased muscle tone in your body helps produce more testosterone which can lead to an increased libido. On top of that, the extra testosterone floating around also gives you a little boost of confidence which always helps. If that extra confidence were to lead you to a more “risky” form of exercise like rock climbing the adrenaline can mimic those sweet little butterflies in your stomach you felt when you were first dating; good times.
There is also the idea that you could do a more sensual workout, like a pole-dancing, belly dancing, or any kind of dancing class. Learning new sexy moves is very likely to let loose a sexy goddess hiding inside of you and inspire you to more sexual activities with your partner. Let's not forget about how important foreplay is. You can't blow the top of the house that hasn't been built, people. So, the conclusion here is: exercise can lead to better sex and better orgasms, so do it!
At the end of the day I was a little disappointed to learn there isn't a magical awakening I can look forward to in my thirties. I was, however, happy to learn there is yet another way I can take control of my sexual experience. In any way that I can be in more control of my pleasure, and any way I can have more power over how my life plays-out is always a positive thing in my eyes.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Sex and My Mental Health

Premise.
Sex and orgasm release “happy” chemicals in your brain, so the more sex you have the happier you are. In my experience this is very true. If I go more that say three days without having sex things can get crazy. I become overly emotional getting super sad or angry at things that wouldn't normally upset me. I am prone to slipping into depression. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder that leans towards depression, so I do my best not to aggravate it when possible. I have found that sex and orgasm work wonders for me. Notice I said “for me”, this is in-no-way a piece telling you to stop taking your meds and just have lots of sex instead.

The Science of Orgasm.
Endorphins are used by the body to relieve pain for the most part but, they play a pretty big role in orgasm. They make you feel a sense euphoria and pleasure. They also have a calming affect that can reduce or even stave off depression. Another chemical that is very present in orgasm is oxytocin. This chemical is in charge of all the nice contractions your muscles do to make you feel good. It also causes you to feel connected to your partner. Procaltin is the chemical that relives the sexual tension after orgasm. It is responsible for that flood of remembered chores you have to do tomorrow after sex.
Dopamine and serotonin play a big part in making us feel better when we are in pain or depressed and are the base chemicals for a lot of antidepressant medication. We can get these naturally by having good sex. I do feel the need to point out that we know that having lots of meaningless sex can cause depression, so don't do that. I would say that sex with someone you feel connected to on a regular basis or a random fling can work wonders for our mental health.

My experience.
Personally, I know if I don't have sex at least two to three times a week my emotional health suffers. Even if I masturbate there is no substitute for the physical contact of sex. Masturbation is good for you in many ways. Studies have shown that people who masturbate more have better heart health and live longer lives that is nothing to sneeze at. However the chemical reaction produced during sex for me is much stronger than when I masturbate. So, if you are in a situation where you can have regular sex when someone you like do it.

Most of the time when I feel my partner and I are fighting more often, or I feel myself sinking into some form of depression, if I think back I will find that it's been a while since the last time we had sex. If I suck up my pride or hurt feelings and we have sex I am better able to communicate to him the real problem if there is one. I like to think of myself as a pretty logical person and I am able to think through my problems, real or emotionally aggravated ones, and find solutions. Most of the time, sex isn't the answer to my problem but it does calm me to the point where I am able to look for the answers I need. Any time we are able to tie up loose ends we feel better, and this is precisely what sex helps me do. Aside from the purely chemical/physical reactions of our bodies during and after sex, that are amazing in their own right, a clear mind is a marvelous thing to have. I wish you all great sex and even better mental health.