A Rant

I am feeling a little off at the moment so this may not make a lot of since and I'm sorry about that. Tomorrow starts my son's first spring break and his dad is taking him and his sister on a trip to meet his uncle, which is great. I want them to know both sides of their family, but I can't help but feel a little bit sad. This is the first time they have gone on a trip with their dad and its several states away. They are so far away and I miss the first spring break. Its also the first time they have left me. How is this the first time in 3 years I am having to deal with this?  We have been on several trips, but this feel different for some reason. It may be that it is also the first time that the idea of custody issue even popped into my head. We have always been so close the kids have either been in the apartment under ours with their dad or just down the hall it has been something we talked about custody but I have never really thought seriously about it. Now for some reason this is started an almost panic in me. How much time could I be spending apart from my babies in the future? I can't even think clearly and they have only been gone for several hours. How do people deal with this?